Suicide Prevention Month: Poem creative writing

Since september is National Suicide Prevention Month in the USA I thought I might share one of my own stories. This year the month is more important than ever. With all the cuts the American government has been doing on suicide hotlines and most importantly against the LGBTQ+ community. 

 I did not grow up in America but I do live here now and I have already met so many people struggling. It just hurts me so much to see so many people struggling without proper help.

 Personally I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts since I was about 10 years old and started self-harming when I was 12 years old. almost 8 years later I am still trying to fight those thoughts and I am still trying to completely quit self-harming. I have now been clean for almost a month which has been really hard but it also makes me proud. 

 This story has always been very hard for me to talk about because I feel ashamed about it. But I have also learned throughout the years that telling your own story can save a life. 

 One thing that has been really helping me stay clean is my creative writing class. I can write out my full story in small poems and no one will judge me. It took me years to find something constant to quiet my mind and I'm glad I found it. But then I think about all the people who don't have a release for their emotions like this. And I hope every day that those people will find a better release.

 I wanted to share this poem I wrote about my first year of high school. This is about the time everything got bad again so many years ago. This is the first time I have ever written this story down. Showing the way I felt in the moment. I hope that no one relates to this poem but I know that a lot of people will. And all I can say is that it will get better. I know poeple hate it when someone says this to them. I did too. But it's true. It actually does get better. If me sharing my story can even reach one person or make one person feel seen I would be happy.

 You can do this and remember you are not alone.

- J