literally just me being the definition of cliche dumb teen girl

now i told myself no more hopeless crushes on boys who i've just mentally created a version of them of which i'd like to be with.

but man when do i ever listen to the shit i say (눈_눈)

and by that i mean i seem to have dug myself even deeper than my past delusion based phases of admiration i like to refer to as a crush.

wont lie its random as fuck the way i started talking to him. like two years ago i let my friend go ham with my snapchat because i never used the app and she tried to friend everyone in the state we live in lol

just this year i finally cleaned out the friends list and kept the people i was relatively sure i knew/go to school with. yeah you can guess where i'm going with this huh?

about two months ago i went through all my unread messages only to realise this guy had been sending me snaps for literally ages. obviously they weren't directly to me, i'd assume they were like... the mass snap thing? i don't know what it's called (T_T)

so me being me i started snapping back the most random photos ever. like my furby, the puppet thing that hangs off my curtains (there literally isn't a better way to explain that one lol), the picture of a duck on my wall. no reason other than i'm an idiot who does weird stuff.

then i realised that man i actually go to school with this guy and he probably thinks i'm weird as shit now. 

and then i started yapping to him because i have zero shame.

he has to be incredibly polite or something because he has yet to tell me to shut up and stop texting him random shit.

i would say he's sick of me but by some miracle he actually texts first now and continues the fucking conversation. like damn okay i see i'm growing on you. maybe.

or maybe he just hopes it'll make me shut up quicker.

POINT IS i'm actually starting to like this guy (lord smite me with lightning and end my suffering).

i wont address the long list of problems with this because that would be endless but the main one is i don't talk or interact with him outside of texting. like do i even have to explain the issue with that? you'd think that if he cared or was interested he might wave to me in the hall or something.

and you may be like "why don't you wave to him??"

my facial recognition skills are beyond shit. i literally thought i had classes with him until i actually paid attention during role call and realised the boy sitting next to me is not in fact the one i text and is probably wondering why i keep staring at him.

yeah, i'm hopeless.

and then i realised that i don't even have a single class with him.

wish he'd wave at me or something if he sees me. like i find i'm not hoping and praying for some romantic fantasy with him. i just want to be his friend, be a small part of his life.

anyway that's my dumb rant about my crush. i don't know why you'd actually read this but you do you i guess.

like go queen go.