help with a (kinda) broken heart

so like, there was this boy from another country (i've known him for 5 years) and then uhmm we kinda got engaged but obviously we broke that romantic thing, and i feel like so empty and heartbroken (i don't wanna to admit it xDD) its so weird everything rn i miss hiiiiiim but i know he doesnt feel the same, he already move on from me; maybe he likes someone else already and im stuck with him. Its fine ig but i CAN'T IT'S HAD BEEN LIKE 2-3 WEEKS SINCE WE ENDED THE ROMANTIC THING AND I STILL THINKK ABOUT HIM UGHH and im SO unlucky romantically IRL that there was no difference between no physical touch with a bf from another country and, idk, BEING ALONE??? and im afraid to start something new with someone. idk if anyone gets me

i consider him like a bestfriend (even though he is like 1500 km away from me xD) but i kinda feel inlove but i can, like, "forget" that we were something else, but I DON'T WANNAA I FEEL SO BAD THINKING ABOUT THAT, we texted eachother everyday, atleast a 'good morning' was fine by me.

Rn i just feel sad to text him, im like, waiting for him to text me first, i don't want to beg (THO I DO ALMOST ALL THE TIME). 

he was right about waiting like 2 years to meet up, just for see eachother for like 1 week and then wait another long time.... tbh i could had waited for him, but he couldn't, and that's fine TT

i just wanted to vent cuz i dont really know who/where to vent besides my friend but i don't want to bother her with bs anymore and i kinda get embarrased with all of this XD i feel my chest so tight about all of this shi ANYWAY heLP (sorry for the BAD english /srs)