my love aches

The gay teenage yearning of cuddling on top of your girlfriend, skin to skin, chest to chest, sitting in the comfortable silence of each other's mangled breaths, the longing for slow gentle to rough to gentle kisses, biting down on her neck, feeling her skin and emotions, feeling her soul and energy through and through, our bodies intertwined under the sheets in the early hours of the morning as we try to pull each other into one being, our souls communicating, drawing me in till I am left alone as she has to go home once more, like the 24 hrs we just experienced as never happened. She may not know how deeply i feel but I do. And fuck, waiting for moments where we can be alone together without stress or interruption has become so rare. It aches, making my heart drown in its own despair. The feeling of getting a taste of what could be true only to be deprived for months on end. You know the love is there. Or at least thats what you hear. Yet you feel so despaired watching through glass, being told to wait or just get ignored. Her actions are different. She does the small things. Though when we are alone, she treats it like its platonic. Though im aware she isnt like that with anyone else. God i feel so selfish. Im hurting wanting something more that she can give. Yet i dont wish to leave. I cant. God im so doomed.