all i want in this life

I cannot even begin to describe how much I want to be loved unconditionally by my future husband. To me, the perfect husband is one that texts me first or makes time out of his day to talk to me. He's sweet towards me and wants to make sure that I am well. When I am sick, I want him to cook me my meals and bathe me. When he's busy, I want him to be excited to see me everyday. When he has free time, I want to know that he'd do anything in the world to be with me. When he is sad, I want to know that he wants my comfort. When he's angry, I want to be assured that he will not take it out on me. I want him to annoy me. I want him to buy me flowers when it's not my birthday. I want him to remember stuff about me-- my heart, my desires, my hurts. I want him to understand me. I want him to love me the way I am. I want to give all this love I have for him. I want to marry only once. I can't mess this up.

 I want a baby. I want to teach my baby how to read. I want to be a mother. I want to know that I created something so beautiful and amazing. My baby will be loved.  My baby will never know the hurt of abuse. My baby will be safe with me. Sometimes, I think I will be fine if my baby's father left me. My baby and I have each other. I will always support my baby. I will not ignore my baby's cries. I will treat my baby with respect. I will love my baby more than anything. 

I always save parenting tips and photos of what I think is true love on Pinterest. I have a TikTok collection of marriage proposals and baby videos. This is what I want most in my life.

I feel like love-- it's better than sex. Knowing that there is somebody out there who wants to be in your presence and would care about where you are or how you're feeling, I feel like that's the best feeling in the world. I want a family so bad, one of my own. I hate being so young. I just want love. Not just a love that lasts 2 years. I want a love that lasts a lifetime. :(