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TELL ME WHAI. WHY even in a space that's supposed to be have people who relate to me i feel alone. tell me whhaayeyeyeyeyeyy this is just the norm for me. first it's like this irl. barely any common ground with people in my school except... schoolwork and um. schoolwork. barely any common ground with anyone in church except the fact that we go to church, i guess. then in online communities for bands, the only common ground being that we like the band, or the reason why we like the band. like just give me a breakKK. maybe it's just in my head maybe im the weird one here maybe im the one LACKING SOCIAL SKILLS BECAUSE IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE :DD life's going grate and yes i mean grate because it's all falling apart
jk. that was a good one though wasnt it HAHAHA ¬_¬
okay that's it
today was a very useless day. spent all day online and barely ticked off my checklist, me sad. 95% of my checklist was ticked yesterday. sad today. but at the end of the day it's not how much we do in a day that we should use to measure our self worth, is it. no! what matters most is joy. which i have. joy and happiness aren't the same gais, belieb me. joy brings u peace, and peace brings u joy. Jesus is the only reason im still living AHAHAHHHH this life is testing me. no friends, dad dead, a really NOT great living situation? bruhh, that in itself is a reason to go. but im not gonna, because you cant let those thoughts win ... you gotta tell em NO! trust tho guys, im okay. i just wanted to rant since i dont really get to talk to anyone about how i feeeeeel, except myself. and God.
i hope i'll meet my best friend one day. like, you know, that person who you just click with... yeah, i wouldnt know because it's never happened to me before
anyway that's it, for real, for real, for real this timeee
and learn to think for yourself. you unsure? check it out for yourself. and don't just act on emotion use ur HEAD
peace out.
^O^ "The Lord is near the brokenhearted, he saves those crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18
Jesus loves you.
Poem:
"I ponder of something great
My lungs will fill and then deflate
They fill with fire, exhale desire
I know it's dire, my time today
I have these thoughts, so often I ought
To replace that slot with what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole my car radio
And now I just sit in silence
Sometimes quiet is violent
I find it hard to hide it, my pride is no longer inside
It's on my sleeve, my skin will scream
Remindin' me of who I killed inside my dream
I hate this car that I'm driving, there's no hiding for me
I'm forced to deal with what I feel
There is no distraction to mask what is real
I could pull the steering wheel
I have these thoughts, so often I ought
To replace that slot with what I once bought
'Cause somebody stole my car radio
And now I just sit in silence
I ponder of something terrifying
'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind
Defined over the course of our human existence
One thing consists of consistence
And it's that we're all battling fear
Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here
Oh my, too deep, please stop thinking
I liked it better when my car had sound!
There are things we can do
But from the things that work there are only two
And then from the two that we choose to do
Peace will win and fear will lose
And there's faith and there's sleep
We need to pick one please
Because faith is to be awake
And to be awake is for us to think
And for us to think is to be alive
And I will try with every rhyme
To come across like I am dying
To let you know you need to try to think!" - Car Radio, twenty one pilots
(and no you cant comment. i dont actually expect anyone to read this. but this will find whoever it needs to i guess)
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