Does anyone relate? Might delete honestly

Does anyone share the same experience? I used to be Soo outgoing and loud and talkative years ago , literally had ppl telling me to be quiet but now I don't talk anymore. Now I'm quiet and find talking to ppl to be a hassle but at the same time I miss it Soo much:(  like it's unfathomable to me how much I changed and it's scary , I don't like ppl but yet I want friends Soo bad! I wanna hangout outside , play videogames , I wanna yap about our interests , movie references , nostalgia , memes just anything! :( I don't wanna be stuck going on discord , spacehey all day joining groups waiting for someone. Do you have any Idea how lonely this is? This has been going on for 6 years now!! There's no reason I should be freezing up , no reason why I should be paralyzed in my seat bc I think ppl are staring at me!  scared of talking bc I think I'm annoying.. idk bro