thinking about dating.. is scary!!!

I mean, I want to date, right? But like, I will never find someone who will fit my vibes or like wont make fun of my eating habits and my weight, lots of people these days only date for looks and thats just really sad, so ill just be by myself for most of my life LOLZ, I mean, im not really fit for dating, since my mental health is horrible, I have envy problems and I get scared that people will leave me, and like, I feel like if i do get in a romantic relationship and the person treats me badly, I won't be able to leave them due to the fact that I get attached with them, Its happened before, I made a friend, he was an asshole and mean to me and mean to others too, so one night, I freaked out and started crying because he was shaming my weight and MDD, but after that night, I started crying and getting really sad, because i kept thinking about him with a new friend that isnt me and it kept making me jealous, and then I just had thoughts that i shouldn't have stopped being his friend and should've stayed being his friend even if it hurt me severely

SO LIKE I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK OF... THIS IS ALL SO SCARY

This randomly turned into a vent, But like yeah, thinking about relationships are scary as someone who gets attached easily and would do anything for someone just so they can keep being my friend.