he cheated this whole time

Yes. The unfathomable pit in my stomach has been sitting with me all day. No appetite to eat, no thirst for water, nothing. The basic human necessities for survival are nullified to zero. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. "It hurts" doesn't even cover how hurt I feel. A gullible girl, naive, innocent, and loving purely, was met with actions of unfaithfulness by her partner. How must I be feeling? Chills, fevers, and incredible nausea episodes all day. He left without warning, without a single trace. I have sent him hundreds of messages of concern, longing for him, and missing him. But it turns out he has been adding other women here while he was supposed to be away, instead flirting with other girls on here, some half naked. I talked to one of the girls and she told me what he was doing. I was furious and so sick physically that I threw up. 

He left me in the dark to worry and miss him for over ten days. During that time, he had his friend list blocked from the public eye, probably assuming I wouldn't find a way to discover what he was doing. That was the first red flag I noticed but I simply ignored it. I thought I was the perfect partner for him, like he told me, but suddenly I was not enough for him. I wish we could reconcile or that I could hear what he has to say. Why send me all those vms, all the sweet messages, the pictures, why give me hope and promise me that you are the safest man to be with, while you have been lying and being unfaithful to me? Me of all girls. He can try to find another one like me, but I know that in every other girl he meets he will be lacking the energy, the love that he knows I have. I feel sorry for him more than myself in a way. He did a horrible and unfair thing to me, but if you have it in your heart, I'd like to ask you to please pray for him.  

I'm not seeking revenge. I'm not seeking to do an evil thing in response to his evil actions toward me. I didn't deserve this from him, and he knew that. He couldn't even face me in the end, resorting to blocking me and deleting his account entirely. Instead of replying to my messages, which he definitely read all those days and simply ignored, he has been meeting new women every day he's supposed to have been gone. It's likely that he has completely foregone this platform entirely because of the guilt he has about me, either that or he is continuing with other women on here. 

I'm simply devastated beyond belief. I am heartbroken. I am sick. I'm confused. It's a closure that I will have to make peace with alone. I wish he would come forth and talk to me again, but he likely never will. I'll be bettering myself every day and praying for him and his family, that is my only revenge.