people at my school hate me and I hate them too

It's no surprise to me that a lot of people at my school and in my town in general are't too fond of me, they think I don't notice or don't see the dirty looks they give me every time I walk into class or walk home but I do. On the first day of school every time i walked into a new class and had to pick where to sit because there's no sitting charts yet I could see them all thinking to themselves "sh!t... I don't want that freak to sit next to me" and when I did, their face of disgust staring into and right through me was angering. Like I'm sorry? I'm sorry I'm not some super cool handsome dude who's smart and funny. A lot of them end up moving sits the next day, in one class, i had to sit a 4 table group with these guys who were the exact polar opposite of me, they had lots of friends and were confident and one of them even had a girl flirting with them, by Friday they all moved to groups with people they deemed cooler, and I was left alone in a empty group. I'm used to it by this point, since 7th grade it happens at least in one class every year. I don't mind being alone, I like it even, but for some reason it fills me with anger when they move, is sitting in the same group as me so embarrassing or such a hell that you have move away. I know I'm not the most pleasant person, I can get quite angry and don't talk much but at least I do my part in group projects and don't bother them and I actually shower unlike a weird amount of people at my school (seriously some of these people reek) I know I can be weird at times and very awkward due to the fact I grew up a loner and with the pandemic was voided of social interactions for almost 3 years and now I don't know how you're suppose to speak to people, but damn surely you don't have to make a face when you see me or point and laugh at me.

At this point I don't how I feel, I feel like I'm below everyone, like I'm the trash society throws away because they see it as useless, and at the same time I feel or know I am superior then everyone, like I'm the only person in this earth that can think for themselves, I look at all the people in my school and see them are just a bunch of morons who just live life and think in a very superficial manner, like lambs to the slaughter. I hate them, when I walk the hallways I can just feel it. I hate my school and the people in it, for years the other students always find a way to make me feel less, the way they skip over my name when doing group projects or ignore me when I say something, or how they don't care if they push, kick or step over me while in PE, or how they laugh at me when I have to stand up to present, they think covering their mouth as they giggle watching me stutter is going to hide it. sometimes I feel like crying and other times I feel like hurting them, I daydream about hurting the people I don't like. I know saying this might make you think "no wonder no one likes you if you're an assh0le who wants to hurt them" but I only think like this about people that have done sh!t to me or made me feel like sh!t. and I never say this out loud, I never go out of my way to hurt them or do anything to them, half of them I never even talked to once so why the fvck do they hate me is so beyond me. 

I only have one real friend, someone I trust, he's like me, we share a lot of the same hatred for the people at our school, the same fvcked up interest you would never share with anyone. it feels so great to have someone who you talk sh!t with about he people who hate you.