"I'M SO MAD ABOUT YOU"

Officially thinking I got played but you know what it's wtv because I expected it. I mean having it come from him ofc it was going to happen. I wanted to believe that he did wanted me, trust me, but I'm just too hurt I can't and I push it away. I swear what happened between us was something. I know we had something like this happened once in Sep then we stopped talking then got back into this again. If we stop talking again and wait till 3 years later, would we pick up again? will we continue to keep picking up our unfinished business every here and there?? And I want to hate him for how he did me but I don't. I don't have it in me to hate someone who I spent such a good time with. All the late night calls staying up past 12, talking about hanging out, getting vulnerable with each other. Did it mean nothing? to me it was everything important, hence why I could never hate him. I thought I was starting to develop feelings, but I know that this isn't what I truly wanted. And that's ok. I'm more glad I shared a part of love with him because everyone deserves some type of good love. Loving someone is something we should never regret. Love is the most beautiful thing that we could ever give, and unfortunately, that gets stripped away from us sometimes with the wrong people. Although sometimes, I do wish we had never done that stupid kiss. Because of that, it opened all of this. I'm so mad but I have too much empathy and he doesn't deserve my crash out. I wanted to YOLO everything, I did, I wanted to YOLO making out with him again and being with him, watching movies, going on regular things that couples do but I guess I was too lonely and wanted to feel something. I might be mad and all but I don't want to be like everyone else that he have done in which they just leave him. I don't want to be rude and mean to him just because he didn't give me a chance. I just wanna accept it and move on. I hope that we make new good memories as friends. I really wanted to be the emo x cutesy duo lowkey. I think it's cute. And if he ever reads these I'm cookedddddd lmaoooo. I still love you tho bro, you'll always be my fav homeboy. 

XOXO heb