man do i NEED a bf (REALLY LONG)

so like im gay i think thats kinda obvious!!! but im also obsessed with bl and like seeing those couples and seeing mlm stuff on tt and AAHGG im so jealous!!! i live in portugal (just moved) and im very tall and so when i try to make alt friends they think im older then i am and i just dont feel too comfortable being friends with ppl like 17 or 18 as a someonr under 15 years old!! i keep seeiing beautiful cis men and beibg like damn and then remembering if i dated one id only be getting gender envy and i feel like id be seen as a girl!! i dont speak much portugese and have no friends with my interests in portugal, and i refuse to do long distance bcs me and my ex were long distance it was a trainwreck!!! 

this parts kinda a vent tw

i have major abandonment issues and nervous attachment so all the time especially in relationships i also crash and go thru a major phase of depression!! all if my su1cide att3mpts were almost all caused by this abd i dont want to be at my worst again!!  i dont want ti be a bad partner but slight arguments will make me cry and i cant take stuff seriously so im so ass in the talk things out aspect!! so i just think maybe im not ready bcs of how fucking sensitive i am

holy shit this is long!! so idk im like kinda like AGHS i just want someone who gen loves me, has my intrests, WILL COSPLAY W ME bcs i need to have someone to go to con w me omg!!

wallace out if anyone lives in porto portugal or smth fellas HMU 🌹🌹🌹 (13-14 tho bcs yeah) 

wallace OUT