To my dear emos, a open letter (or something)

I've always been into darker stuff since I was little and all that, I was a big fan of edgy stuff and I still am, honestly, fuck, I'm in love with Creepypastas, but it had never crossed my mind that I was "emo" or anything like that, because I don't remember listening to that many emo songs, I listened to more electronic music, like a lot.

And I don't know if I can really call myself emo nowadays, I'm going to be 17 next month, and I can say that being able to call myself emo without a doubt is one of the things I want most.

I don't have emo clothes, I don't have emo hair, I don't have posters, I don't have CDs, I don't have fucking anything, the only thing i have for now is my love for this subculture.

I swear it brings so much comfort, I started with My Chemical Romance in April this year, then Pierce The Veil, now I also love Paramore, Sleeping With Sirens, Black Veil Brides, Thirty Seconds To Mars (I'm listening to the band's music right now), I know they're famous, but I just love them so much, you know? But I also want to know not so well known emo bands, I would be very happy if you could recommend some to me.

And like I know I haven't memorized all the names of their songs yet, I know I haven't heard the entire discography yet, but I want to.

I want it so fucking bad, and I will.

I want to be able to have shirts of my favorite bands, I want to have their CDs, I want my room to be all decorated, fuck, I'm even going to paint my nails black and have the MCR cake in my birthday.

I know it's a subculture, and I want to learn as much as possible about it, I know that being alternative is much more than just dyeing your hair blue and skateboarding.

That's why I want to be able to go to thrift stores and customize clothes myself.

Because I think one of the main points of being alternative is not being a slave to consumerism, right?

I really don't know much, I'm a beginner, and I hope I'm not being a "poser" I always saw myself as a strange and different child, and you have no idea how much emo culture comforts me, I feel like I've finally found myself.

When I started listening to Emo Rock I didn't think it would change my life so much, I needed it, last year was the worst year I've ever had, I felt like shit, new school, new people, I felt so bad, I cried over any little thing, I stressed about everything, I didn't want to get out of bed, and I considered killing myself and cutting myself countless times, but I didn't do it because I saw myself as too much of a coward.

It got to a point that when I had to went back to school I had a panic attack and my mother had no choice but to continue looking for a psychologist for me, she found one, and she is very sweet :) I love her (and my mom too).

When I found Emo Rock, it gave me the strength and still gives me the strength I need to be able to go to school, I feel so good, I feel like I don't want to give up anymore, ever again.

I fell in love with Emo Rock, and consequently with emo culture itself, so please be patient with me and help me on this journey.

I don't know if I could have been considered an emo kid when I was younger, but I'm proud to say that I want to be a part of it now.

I want to dress emo, but more than that, I want to be able to be emo, for real.

I also want to have an emo band :) but I don't have any friends right now :( but when I get to have the rock band of my dreams, you guys will definitely know.

Anyway, that's it, thank you for staying here and reading this whole long text.

Have a good day/afternoon/evening, I would love to get to know you better and get to know this real alternative world, subcultures and etc, I admit that I'm excited!!XD