Hungover listening to 'The Smiths'

After many shots, double shots, mixing liquor, and smoking a joint I was gone. It was only my 4th time drinking and was still new to drinking and drugs. I was new to it not true to it. The past times I drank I never gotten drunk. Everyone would tell me how much they would love to see me drunk since it was still new for me. So I took that and decided that I wanted to reach that point and experience that drunkenness. Like hell it can be that bad (I regret it). The next day I was hungover and just didn't care to talk at all. I just wanted to rott in bed and do nothing at all. But I had flew out for this birthday party and wasn't even close to home. Once I got back to where I was staying I just plopped on the bed and curled in a ball. Everyone was still full of energy and would come and try and talk to me and tell me what to do but I couldn't care less. I just wanted to be left alone and listen to music. I just wasn't me. I didn't have earphones at the time and decided to play a song out loud but only loud enough for my ears. I put on 'Wonderful Woman' by The Smiths and laid my phone on the bed by the side of my face. I closed my eyes and just let my body sink in the bed. I just didn't want to be there. I felt like I betrayed myself. Wishing I never tried drinking. Wondering if the people around me genuinely cared about me like I did for them. Wondering why am I doing this. Why was I there? This isn't me. While everyone just recapped about the night. Listening to the Smiths sing, "what to be done with her? What to be done with her? her, her, her, her, her, her,...."