the ghost of the past

i've accomplished so much so far. i'm close to having 2 leadership positions in clubs, i am attending competitions, and meeting so many new people. my life is great!

so why do i sometimes catch a glimpse of the same jealousy that i used to experience in others when i was a kid?

i suppose that while i'm doing everything that young me couldn't, i sometimes think about how others are further in life than i was because they had opportunities earlier than i did. 

while of course, it is true that everyone moves at their own pace, i can't help but wonder if things could have been better if i were given that same chances at a young age too.

i've heard of countless stories of people that had a whole life planned for themselves. and most times, it's because they're privileged enough to do so. 

you always hear about how people are able to achieve so much because they've had a wonderful environment, wonderful friends, wonderful parents that pay for everything and so much more.

but what about those that didn't start off with a silver spoon in their mouth? how about those that initially struggled with a non-conventional background but was able to achieve so much in the end?

the lack of stories for those people, especially those that do well in research and academia is demotivating. i really want to work in education, but hearing that so many people in those fields were able to do so because of privilege is demotivating.

i just hope that things get better for me one day, and i'm able to achieve my goals of studying and working in the humanities and social science. 

one day!!