My Dear Ollie

My little man was diagnosed with prostate cancer this afternoon. If it hadn't metastasized to his lungs, he could live comfortably for maybe a year. But of course it did. He has maybe a few weeks hopped up on anti-inflammatories. 

I can't stop crying. I wish I had given him a better life when he had one in his future. He deserved longer walks when he was younger, and to go to the dog park, and some proper damn training.

He's 10, which is old for a dog but not a little terrier like him. I can hardly remember living a life without him barking my ear off al day and sleeping in my bed all night.

I wonder what his siblings will think when he's gone. Will they think we abandoned him when we take him to the vet and don't come back in a few weeks? I've heard that dogs understand the concept of death when they get to see the body. in-home euthanasia is an option but my mom said she doesn't know if she could handle that.

I love you, my baby puppy. All dogs go to heaven. I'll see you there someday.