Report Blog Entry
The crazy LiveJournal Lolita handbook
word count: ~900
8/20/2025
Ah... the dreaded LiveJournal handbook. It's kind of like the Lolita bible, except the real Lolita bible is like the Lolita bible.
Many older Itas swear by it or at least have been traumatized by it. I've been in the community for about… one month. I've already seen people that to this day still follow it like it's the word of the Lolita gods! So I decided to finally read it. Properly go through it. If you don't want to read it, just read this! So, the handbook was last updated in 2006. Not many people were born before 2006. Not many PEOPLE have been in the community since 2006. (Props to you if you have been.)I'd like to add: the author contradicts themselves all the time. I have no idea if it was multiple people writing or if they just simply wrote so much they completely forgot their own opinions. It happens.
You're a grown woman. (ch 1)
Let's start by looking at the first section.
"What is Lolita?"In the post, it says, "In my opinion, what really defines it is its childlike innocence and old-fashioned elegance."
*There is also "What about Nabokov's 'Lolita'?" Isn't that where the term "Lolita" comes from" ♥
Their answer: yes and no. There is no simple answer to this, (...) Yes, Nabokov popularized the term as a name for a young girl, but there is no indication that the Japanese borrowed the sexual connotation of the word as well. Most Lolitas will protest a Nabokov reference, (...) Like all other facets of Lolita fashion, each person has a unique perspective on the word itself.
There is no "yes" answer; the two things have nothing to do with each other. And as you will come to see, the OP seems to have a particular liking for comparing the fashion to dressing and acting like a child.
*In "hair accessories" they write, "Possibly the hardest hair accessory to pull off is the bonnet, which can easily look too childish," yet in Is this Lolita? They write, "Would a little girl/refined young lady wear this? (...) But I also don't mean to imply an adult baby with this question, so don't look for actual children's clothing. Does it make you want to bust out your stuffed animals and have a refined tea party? Or perhaps build a daisy chain in a garden? Then you know you're on the right track."
*In the Lolita lifestyle section they list one Lolita activity as "little girl games—hopscotch, jump rope, hide-and-go-seek, and hula-hooping." Can you imagine hula-hooping in a petticoat?
Conservatism (Ch 2)
There are a few references to "not looking like a drag queen" and "being elegant." In the handbook. Mostly in the Do's and Don'ts section, but you can find a few strays here and there. The word "elegant" is used over and over and over again.Yes, it describes the fashion very well; however, it feels excessive. Your makeup should be elegant. Your blouses should be elegant. Your hair should be elegant; your sweat should be elegant!
*"It says "[blouses] should be tailored for the female shape but not overly tight. (...) elegant while still being very soft and girly."
*About corsets: If you want to wear them under clothing, that's fine; just don't lace them too tight. I know they cinch your waist, but all that extra weight has to go somewhere, and it's usually shoved upwards, making you look like a linebacker. Little girls don't have extreme hourglass shapes."
Maybe I just haven't read enough old, almost ancient blog posts to know just how these things work. However, I'm confused as to where this notion of having to look like a child came from. It's not just that; it's this strange idea that Lolita is this super conservative fashion style! When in reality—it's quite the opposite! This conservatism shines through with this unusual repetitive notion of not looking like a drag queen. This is mentioned twice (I believe), once in the shoe section and, most prevalent of all, in the makeup section. This person doesn't wear makeup, or not a lot at least. They state they only use eyeliner and chap-stick. The text includes a lot of strange language about looking clean and fresh. The summarization of the entire Do's and Don'ts section is this.
* "Don't do whiteface. Seriously, save it for the drag queens and visual kei stars who have hours to spend applying their makeup."
*"Do go for a more natural makeup scheme. Though Gothic and punk lolita will typically have much heavier and darker makeup, all styles look better with the look of freshly scrubbed skin. This isn't to say don't wear foundation, but keep it light and as close to your natural skin color as you can. This will give you a far more youthful appearance."
*"Ratty old sneakers are not loli. Stripper/drag queen heels are not loli unless you are, in fact, a drag queen, in Mana's case."
Again, Youthful. . . and maybe the vaguest thing of all, "♥Don't be a slob."
*About corsets: If you want to wear them under clothing, that's fine; just don't lace them too tight. I know they cinch your waist, but all that extra weight has to go somewhere, and it's usually shoved upwards, making you look like a linebacker. Little girls don't have extreme hourglass shapes."
Maybe I just haven't read enough old, almost ancient blog posts to know just how these things work. However, I'm confused as to where this notion of having to look like a child came from. It's not just that; it's this strange idea that Lolita is this super conservative fashion style! When in reality—it's quite the opposite! This conservatism shines through with this unusual repetitive notion of not looking like a drag queen. This is mentioned twice (I believe), once in the shoe section and, most prevalent of all, in the makeup section. This person doesn't wear makeup, or not a lot at least. They state they only use eyeliner and chap-stick. The text includes a lot of strange language about looking clean and fresh. The summarization of the entire Do's and Don'ts section is this.
* "Don't do whiteface. Seriously, save it for the drag queens and visual kei stars who have hours to spend applying their makeup."
*"Do go for a more natural makeup scheme. Though Gothic and punk lolita will typically have much heavier and darker makeup, all styles look better with the look of freshly scrubbed skin. This isn't to say don't wear foundation, but keep it light and as close to your natural skin color as you can. This will give you a far more youthful appearance."
*"Ratty old sneakers are not loli. Stripper/drag queen heels are not loli unless you are, in fact, a drag queen, in Mana's case."
Again, Youthful. . . and maybe the vaguest thing of all, "♥Don't be a slob."
. . . ????
*"Circle skirts can sometimes make you look like you're on your way to a hoedown. There is nothing elegant about hoe-downs, and I say this as someone who's been to them."
I'm curious, did anybody really follow this? Does anyone have enough experience in the community to let me know lmao? I'm just new, and I've been hearing about it for so long that it's driving me crazy. So I'm curious if anybody actually followed this so strictly.
More conservatism (CH 3)
*"Circle skirts can sometimes make you look like you're on your way to a hoedown. There is nothing elegant about hoe-downs, and I say this as someone who's been to them."
Ending Thoughts.
I'm curious, did anybody really follow this? Does anyone have enough experience in the community to let me know lmao? I'm just new, and I've been hearing about it for so long that it's driving me crazy. So I'm curious if anybody actually followed this so strictly.
I will reply to comments! love u, straw!
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )