Hypocrisy and Ego go hand in hand

I think I might also be a hypocrite. After calling out my ex-best friend for the things she did and how she was one, if not the most hypocritical person I knew, during an argument on why I was done with her bs, I told her that I really wouldn’t care if we weren’t friends anymore. I even said it would honestly lift the chore feeling I had just being around her, and ended things on a not-so-positive note.

This was 5 or 6 months ago, but I still find myself looking at her old TikTok account on an alt (obviously because she blocked me on everything) and scrolling through her reposts, hoping she feels the hurt she caused me during those 3 years we were friends. I think it’s becoming obsessive....well, not obsessive to the point of real concern, but you get the point.

And honestly, this is where hypocrisy and ego go hand in hand. Ego makes me want to stand by my words and look like I’ve “moved on,” but the hypocrisy shows up when my actions don’t match that at all. I wanted to look above it, but the truth is, I’m still invested. It’s like my ego needs to maintain the image of being unaffected, while my hypocrisy is in the late-night scrolling, searching for proof that she’s hurting the way I did and still am weather I like to admit it or not.