Another letter to my father

Another letter to my father

Being your favourite child, because you have the most control over me, makes me want to scream.

I don’t want to be under your control, but right now I don’t have any chances to speak out. But even if I did, you will not hear my words at all. Because everything that I say against YOUR POINT OF VIEWS you believe is against YOU. But I never want to be against you. I just wanted to be proud of you as my dad, not father.

You mentally abuse my mom to her lowest. And she still cares about you. She still gives her very best, to raise the 3 kids, she was forced to give birth to. It breaks me completely, just thinking about it. She was 18, not even knowing you. You had the chance to change all of the shit she had gone through. You had the chance of saving her bad fate. Instead of supporting her a little bit, you tried to make her believe she will not find a valuable work, because of her German speaking skills. She fought for a good job while studying and raising 3 kids. And you still have the courage to believe she’s betraying you. You still have the courage to make fun of her. 

My future success is the most important thing to you. 

But if I do success one day, it’s not because of all the deep talks about the things i could achieve. It will be because of everything my mom had to go through. 

And I swear to god I will give her the life she deserves, if god wants it that way. 

I love her and I love you too. But I wish you could see the woman she is.

I know you will never ever read this but if a miracle happens: I’m not against you. Im against your eyes. My mom is way stronger than your obsession over control. I will never be like you (like you want), because getting compared to my mom is my most favourite compliment ever.