Random Blog #23

I'm glad that my mom stopped pestering me for grandchildren. My dad gets a heart attack if I even think or look at a guy. That's the weird thing, they want this and that but never what's the other half for it.

I've long decided that kids aren't for me. I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to feel more shit that I'm already going through and I know as hell that I would off myself. I'm mentally messed up and I feel like I'll die even giving birth. There's too many fears. Nothing against kids or mothers, but that path is not for me.

I don't even think a partner is good either. All that desperation and loneliness for what? Do end up with a toxic or dumb person? Hell no. But I also feel like I'll be too much with my physical and mental problems, stuff that's going to take years to heal. Falling in love is way harder.

And even then, is there really anyone who can geek out with me about Shrek and be patient to my picky eating self? Maybe loves dinosaurs the way I do and is comfortable with nostalgia than calling it childish for wanting to indulge?

But by then, it'll always be me in the end.