Saying goodbye to a loved one (I am both the loved and the lover)

So I wrote something, Im not really sure what it's about, I just had this feeling and I figured out writing it down would help me unwravel it. It didn't but at least I was left with this super cool poem, enjoy!!

Gibberish

The train goes a bit faster

And through the window I hold her hand.

Is this really what I wanted,

Or what was imposed to me that day?

That day being my birth,

My birth being my death,

My death being my start,

My start being my end.

I am both the fiction,

The reality and the pain,

And although it may sound foolish,

To me it makes sense.

I live in this paradox

Where no one understands

That I am both her I hold,

And I that holds her, 

I am both the train and the window

The boy holding the girl

The characters in this story,

And the narrator writing them.