love

"it'll come when you least expect it" "your time will come" "focus on yourself for right now" all famous lines we've all heard before. It seems no one knows the right words to say. When your eyes are constantly being entertained by the love in books and movies, you want to experience all of what you see. When friends slowly start to drift a bit when they find "their person". That hurts more than anything. "Where's my person?" The constant replay of solitude haunts the mind. I suppose we all have our own personal clocks of love, but when will mine finally strike twelve. To hear the chime of company is everything I want. I want to tell my secrets in the ear of the person that understands me, the person who never judges me, the person I fell in love with. To be admired intensely with the eyes that have seen every part of my body and soul. But this is all my fantasy that, it seems, everyone is living but me. I walk down school hallways passing by hands holding, arms intertwined, and lips touching. Everywhere I turn I see what I've always wanted most in the world. Ever since I was little I've wanted to fall in love. I've wanted to share forehead kisses and laughs. I've wanted to be at dinner in a fancy dress ordering food I can't pronounce. I've wanted walks in the city and being told by gentle, elders, "you make a beautiful couple." To soon be proposed to on a bridge. To tell my husband "I do". To surprise him with our first child. Nothing makes me more happy than designing these dreams and fantasies. But each day that passes, I wonder if there is even a guy out there decent enough to fulfill these dreams and more. To make that little girl in me proud of the person we've chosen. I want to fall in love, but mostly I want to be loved. I want to be loved without judgement or restraint. To be loved loudly and truly. To just be loved.