post-ATEEZ concert thoughts: we will wait

i'm not used to writing my feelings down, but i've felt compelled to do so since leaving the pop-up on sunday.

I can tell ATEEZ are my ults because of the feeling they give me. I drove into the area on Friday to show up at the pop-up, and the location was POPPING (unsurprisingly). Atiny were everywheeere, the music was playing, posters were plastered around, the little blind box shop had ATEEZ pics in their window, there were cupsleeves - it was so, so exciting. It was like "we're here. ATEEZ is here. this weekend is for us." the energy was so good. people were trading PCs, handing out freebies, dressed up in full atiny regalia representing the group, their faves, the aniteezs. And the entire time I just felt... light and happy and so excited. it really hit me that this group whose music i love, whose music has brought me so many friendships, whose choreography captivates me - i'm going to see them tomorrow.

concert morning

concert day started late and slightly chaotic, as they often do. i have what i affectionately regard as my "concert squad". we rolled out of bed late in the morning and headed to the local coffee haunt, a favorite of ours. after getting some much needed food in our systems and caffeine, we headed to do the obligatory Store Run and purchased odds and ends we'd forgotten - deodorant, shampoo, last-minute outfit pieces... you know.

we ended up getting kind of lost and separated multiple times throughout our shop but eventually we head back to our home base and start the slow process of getting ready. one member of the squad goes to pick up her daughter, a junior member of Concert Squad, if you will. this occurs around 2PM.

at this point we realize we do not have batteries. okay, we'll get them on the way. fine.

we get ready and, well, yeah. yeah. you know how it goes. we're all varying levels of neurodivergent and time slips through our fingers like water. before we know it, Cousin has to go get gas and is like "ok i'll get gas and batteries at gas station". it's 4PM and our VIP check in is a mere 45 minute window from 4:30-5:15. The venue is 30 minutes away. peeerrrrrrfect lmao.

we rush into the car and are off by like 10 after far. no pressure haha

concert time

my sis and i rushed to check in and got into venue. we shimmied to our seats and, even though we had to rush through the veritable treasure trove of freebies, fellow atiny on the floor had our back! we got tons of freebies from sweethearts walking around and got to know our seat neighbors. it was gorgeous.

then sound check started. oh god. sound check. at that moment I realized how close we were. we scored seats close to one side of the extended stage, and we got aisle, so we were c l o s e. close.

like magic, the first one to come our way was Yeosang of all members, and my jaw was on the FLOOR - like when bandit took bluey's pic off of the fridge, i was gaggedddd. he's so pretty. throughout sound check the members came by and they looked so, so happy. they filled us with energy, and it was incredible getting to see them work up close like that.

after sound check we headed to floor merch which was alright. the line was okay - def better than the skz line! unfort the item i wanted - yeo's football jersey - was sold out. it was helllla sold out. sold out at friday's pop up, sold out at multiple merch stands in the venue during concert. whatever. we got batteries because oops! guess what! we never got batteries lmao.

we brought our friend merch we got for them, then got snackies and i did my traditional "2 bathroom trips before a show even if i just went potty". met lovely atiny in line for the restroom and chatted and just took it in.

once we were seated, i took out my robeam so i could cheer on xikers because i looove them too (see my post about them). i really love that ATEEZ and KQ are propping them up like this! they thanked us and their seniors for giving them the stage, and I imagine it kind of lit a fire inside of them. i hope one day they can have a stadium all their own. maybe by then they'll have another junior group to pass the torch onto - but i'm getting a tad ahead of myself.

it makes my heart soo happy whenever people take interest in xikers, so we were more than happy to yap to our seat neighbors about them! please everyone, give 'em a chance! they're so neat!! (also their little mash up going into bouncy was!! delicious)

of course, once their set ended, we were all buzzzzzzziiinnnggg waiting for ATEEZ.

when the lights went down, and the live band took the stage, i jumped out of my seat. i have this thing where, if i know a group well, i do not spoil myself on the set list. i couldn't avoid all spoilers, but i genuinely didn't know the set list, so i was excited to be surprised.

Bouncy is a fucking incredible opener. it set the stage for an incredible time, and, fuck, the live band. i feel like the live band is what we deserve. it's what they deserve - the depth of sound, the cool factor, how much it enhances their music - please always tour with a live band, ATEEZ.

i'm not going to go song by song, that'd be a lot also it was very much a happy blur. there were definitely highlights though. NO1 and then all of ATEEZ coming out being GOOBERS. Skin being, well, Skin. Legacy is just fucking incredible. Jongho singing acapella for his solo. OUTLAW? WE GOT TO SEE OUTLAW? Plus Fireworks making the setlist?? AND THE CAGES? And BLIND?? Also barking at Mingi, god i love barking at that man. it felt like EVERYONE was on their bullshit tbh, they were feeling themselves.

Blind in Texas, an area with a LOT of latinos, was just mmmmmmm mmmmm mmm so right. el amor es ciego.

Also can we talk about the table choreo for man on fire? never thought fingers walking on a table could be so damn hot but ok Yunho.

fucking amazing. i loved the mix of new and old.

feelings about the show overall

overall, this was definitely different than their past tours. typically there's a throughline, a story/narrative element, but they didn't have that this time. there were some smaller stories told like fireworks, outlaw and legacy, burning down the castle, rebuilding in the snow, the tsunami taking us all down... but not anything overarching. at first i didn't understand it, but in hindsight, it makes more sense to me why they did that. 

(tangent: can we talk about that MEDLEY though. i'm so proud of our guys. they've made it to the "we have so much great music we can medley a substantial amount of it" level)

this time, it was just... ATEEZ. expressing themselves and their different colors. it felt like "this is what we want to show atiny". my friend oat described it as "vibey and indulgent" and i think that's about right, but it isn't a bad thing. the name of the tour is "In Your Fantasy", and I think that's what they did:

they showed us their different fantasies and facets.

and then it ended... after encores, fan service songs, smiles, laughter, dancing, screaming, it ended. in their last ment, something Hongjoong said struck me. his eyes were teary (though he didn't let them fall), he said:

Wait for us.

it didn't hit me immediately, but it gradually sunk in.

we left the venue (making a detour to gather confetti like the goblins we are, lol) and reunited with our squad who had different seats. that's when it really started to hit us.

after the show

in a happy daze, we debriefed our thoughts on the show, what we loved, what surprised us, alll of the feelings and the things and the tiredness. that's when my cousin, the eldest in our group, repeated hongjoong's words.

"this felt like a farewell... he didn't say see you next time like he usually does. he said wait for us..."

and we were like.

oh.

their teary eyes, their earnest thankfulness - it all kind of came back to me when she pointed that out.

then i got to thinking about how they started.

Dallas was ATEEZ's first stop on their very first tour, The Expedition Tour.

And now it's their last US stop on the In Your Fantasy tour.

it's too perfect, like closing a loop.

the sunday after

we all kind of crumbled into bed upon our return to home base. sunday morning we rolled out of bed and kind of decided eh, fuck it, let's do the pop up one last time. by this point we'd all gotten most of the stuff we wanted, but i kind of knew i'd regret not getting a football jersey.

so off we went (first, another detour to the shop so my sister could retrieve a lost item).

when we arrived, the vibe of the mall pop-up venue was significantly different than friday. on friday it was bustling and buzzing, atiny filled the hallway, trolled the shops, chatted, traded, took pics. 

sunday was truly the calm after the storm.

sure there were people, but there were, like, maybe a few dozen idk. it was peaceful bordering on barren. my cousin (who hadn't gone friday) accompanied us and we got our last bits of merch.

seeing it so sparsely populated drove home that it's the end - the end of the weekend, the end of the US tour. it was time to say goodbye.

except, this time, we didn't have the assurance of "oh, they'll be back next year". the "wait for us" felt so... final. the more those words sat with me, the more it felt like sunday was a farewell - a few more pics, a few more pieces of merch, one last walk through the pop-up...

wait for us

the future is uncertain - for atiny in American and ATEEZ.

kpop is an escape for many of us, it's a place we can retreat to for a break from the chaos and dread of our day to day lives. a fantasy, even. of course, the irony is, it's the In Your Fantasy tour is the very one that's made us all realize how fragile that fantasy really is.

there are no costumes, no lyrics, no amount of body rolls or silly interactions that can erase the reality we live in - both us and ATEEZ.

ATEEZ is approaching military enlistment age, and xikers being positioned in front of atiny wasn't only a kind gesture; it was strategic. KQ's cash cow is going to be compromised, and they're about to go public next year. Assuming SK has similar laws in terms of obligations to shareholders, KQ is going to be doing their damndest to make money line go up. what that means for ATEEZ? we don't know yet, but we do know that tours, while huge money makers, are expensive. plus, ATEEZ just renegotiated their contracts with renewal (at least I presume they renegotiated having proven themselves) - they're probably more expensive than they were prior.

ATEEZ and xikers are on the larger side, 8 and 10 members respectively, so it begs the question: what's KQ gonna do? are they truly rolling in the dough or will there be cost cutting measures?

of course, the KQ business stuff is kind of small fries in comparison with what I consider the bigger threat:

the state of USA's affairs.

the current administration has made it more costly, hostile, and dangerous than ever for international visitors to come. it doesn't matter if people have been here for decades, for their entire life, if they're here to work... none of it matters. the trump administration has made it clear that "others" are the enemy, and they've been snuffing out opportunities for non-citizens (and certain groups of citizens) to be here systemically. the efforts have been going on for years but we've seen an AGGRESSIVE, VISIBLE increase in violence to achieve trump's goal of a fascist dictator state.

the US isn't even safe for citizens anymore. these kpop labels have been sending everyone for the past decade in droves so they could cash in on the hallyu wave gold rush. they started doing it because it was a good business move for them, but with how costly and dangerous it is, with the impending civil war and looming threat of martial law, these companies seem to see the writing on the wall.

the USA won't be a viable market for much longer.

(and i swear to god if 1 of the 2.5 ppl who actually bother reading this brings up 'also nobody wants to compete with BTS' i will bop you with a newspaper lol)

the end of an era

i feel like from the 2010's to the 2020's, i've seen the full bell-curve rise and fall of the US Hallyu Wave. kpop is here to stay, i think it'll always have a place in the pseudo-mainstream, but it's heyday in the states has passed.

it's too costly for consumers and companies in multiple ways. the juice isn't worth the squeeze anymore.

and ATEEZ's In Your Fantasy tour feels like a cap on that for me, personally. the mark of the end of the peak Hallyu Wave era.

regardless, even though kpop may retreat into relative obscurity (honestly i fucking hope it does lmao) i've liked it since middle school and i don't see myself stopping any time soon. whether ATEEZ returns next year or next decade, i'll probably still be here, doing my thing haha.

i'll be waiting.