Shadows Of 2014

today felt… normal.

but also kind of nostalgic.

i had old 2014 songs on repeat and it made me feel good in that way where you’re not sure if it’s happiness or just remembering a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore.

i cleaned out my closet.

like actually pulled everything out and sat there deciding what to keep, what to let go.

funny how sometimes a messy closet feels easier to deal with than a messy head.

what hit me hard today was when my mama sent me a picture of a tablet she bought for my nephew.

it bothered me.

not because he doesn’t deserve it — he does.

but because i couldn’t stop thinking about how when i was a kid, we didn’t really get those things.

we were broke.

and sometimes it stings seeing your younger self in the shadows of what you wished you had.

anyway.

i listened to old songs that made me feel something.

the kind of music that feels like scrolling in the dark, headphones too loud, pretending the world makes sense.

today’s word is:

pink.