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[⚠️Warning: Spoilers for The Substance, this is a pretty shitty horror essay, stupid typing quirks, also, this is a horror movie. I genuinely would recommend watching it first b4 reading this so u guys know wut i'm talking abt]
One of the ways some may describe it is “If The Thing met Death Becomes Her”, u nvr heard anyone say that? WELL YOU’RE PROBABLY WRONG.
Now, time 2 actually TALK abt the film and not what it’s known 4.
The film starts with a cool-ass intro, we then go 2 our main protagonist, Elizabeth Sparkle (who has their last name Sparkle???) who is now at their 50th birthday, the thing is that, she is now being dismissed from her long running acrobatics TV program (we find that out from a creepy-ass tv producer). While she’s driving home from the recent dismissal, she gets distracted by a billboard of her being taken down and then gets in a car crash.
After she finds out that any injury that she may have had isn’t fatal @ the hospital. 1ce she leaves said hospital, she finds a flash drive that 1ce she puts into a tv (or computer, Srry I forgot), it shows an advertisement 4 The Substance (Boom, title drop.).
Without a thought, she orders it, due 2 the recent dismissal. She injects the substance in2 herself.
(So basically, this is gonna b kind of a spoiler, but I DID kinda warn u sooooo)
The substance is something that will make a “younger” version of urself that u get 2 take conscious of. But the catch is that you have to switch between bodies every seven days no matter what (which by the end of the movie, the protagonist clearly doesn’t listen to), anyways yadayadayadaaaaaaaa the newer version of her gets the Elizabeth replacement job and is going 2 b speaking at the new years party or whatevr, she sees this crazy dude who also uses the substance- lets just cut this shit and go 2 1 of the most COOL and AWESOME part in this movie, oh also the og ver of Elisabeth looks all fucked up now so ya-
So, both of the versions of Elizabeth (her and the substance ver of her) START DUKING IT OUT, AND THIS AIN'T ANY SLAP BATTLE THEY'RE FULL ON WWE SMACKDOWN FIGHTING, tho eventually Sue kills Elizabeth, aftr that SHE ROYALLY PREPARES 2 GO 2 THE NEW YEARS TV THING, but smthing isn't right.... SHES ALSO TAKING EFFECT DUE 2 HER KILLING HER OG SELF, SUE'S TEETH START FALLING OFF, A NAIL, AND A ENTIRE EAR?????? WOWZA!!!!! AND SHE FINDS THE VILE THATS ONLY MADE 4 1 TIME USE AND PLUNGES IT IN2 HERSELF, THINKING IT WILL CREATE HER ANOTHR BODY (don't do drugz kids, or do, i don't mind), AND THATS WHEN SHIT SOMEHOW GETS EVN CRAZIERRRRRR, SHE BECOMES SOMETHING THATS LIKE BOTH OF THE VERSIONS OF HER BUT HORRIFICALLY COMBINED, SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS!!!! (don't click if ur not good with body horror). YET SHE STILL GOES TO THE NEW YEARS EVENT THING (by jst putting a printed picture of herself with smeared lipstick on it and covering it on her face...? Look, i don't judge but WTF is that plan????)..
THE PRINTED FACE FALLS OFF AS SHE GETS ON STAGE AND EVRYBODY FREAKS THE FUCK OUT (including a random child, lol), A GUY YELLS "MONSTER" AND BLOWS ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH A MIC STAND AND BLOOD SPRAYS EVRYWHAREEEEEEEEEEEEE.... BUT THE HEAD REGENERATED, ITS ARM FALLS OF AND BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD, SUELIZABETH (Sue + Elizabeth) TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT SHE'S ELIZABETH AND SUE BUT THE IGNORANT FUCKING PPL CAN'T HEAR HER OVR THE SCREAMS HAHAHAH (oh also a weird tit thing on her falls off 2)
She escaped the studio as many pieces of flesh on her blob-body thing falls off, she escaped (as i was saying), but she's now just a blob of her face, she rests on her Hollywood star. The vry next day she's jst a bloody stain on her once crowded star (dam this is kinda poetic)
SO YA MOVIES OVR, now i don't say this much, but the fact that i actually felt sympathy 4 Elizabeth is kinda crazy, i mean, she jst wanted 2 b a star again.. she feared the fact that people would 4get her (which i can rel8 2)... and had 2 go thru a horrible xpiriance :((((((
So ya, 10/10 movie n' stuff.... YA WORMI OUT
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