as i ready myself for more gigs

As I ready myself for more gigs soon, the thought of hopefully getting my next (final?) album together still looms in the back of my mind. Doing covers here and there is okay, not something I thought I'd get back into but at least the money will help fund the next opus.

Now another thought looms...

Do I really want to subject myself to finding musicians who start off with that honeymoon phase of "I love this music", "I love the challenge", and "This is great stuff!" Only to hate the things they liked about my music in the first place? Seems to be a recurring there for me. I have very high standards, mostly on myself. But drummers and bassists want the path of least resistance, and I get that. My music isn't algebraic like Dream Theater or Frank Zappa but it is challenging enough. If I wrote more generic stuff like Foo Fighters/Nickelback/etc, people would be lined up to play with me. Yes I went there.

The older I get, the tougher it is to find players who are authentic and genuine about things. If someone sees dollar signs, or at the very least, THEIR chance to use you as a stepping stone, they'll do it. This is why I no longer care to hear such things as "I would be honored to play with you" because it's all bullshit. Yes I went there too.

Now as far as dealing with producers...do I really want to deal with them again? Short answer: no. So what exactly is the job of a producer?! After all, the one writes the music is the producer...and that's me! If anything, they should be called engineers but that sounds a bit low on the totem pole for some. Here's what producers do:

1) Say "no" to everything you do.

2) Get you to hate them so you can play your best.

Nice, huh?

Music should be about freedom or expression but when money enters the picture, everything changes. (Doesn't money change everything? Just ask The Brains.) Suddenly the attitude is "If MY name is going on it, you're gonna listen to ME!" Producers have bigger egos than some musicians, and think they are the ultimate arbiters in the room. Yeah I can't see myself dealing with such recalcitrant nonsense anymore. 

So what do I do? What am I going to do?

I may as well go at it totally alone like Prince did. I used to be more autonomous with my music, making demos with drum machines and such way back in the 80s and 90s, even into early 2000. There was a lot more freedom there, and while it was tedious, I didn't have anyone barking at me like "I hate when you do that" and "Turn that effect off". Not pleasant things when you're feeling inspired, right? That's because most producers only care about the bottom line. Unless my music was tailor-made for public consumption (i.e. dumbed down), I will continue to be this quirky esoteric player. 

This is MY version of heavy metal.