People are too 'cool' to be cool now

First and foremost, I'm going to clarify that this is going to be an angsty and whiny rant/vent...

so, if you're not too interested in reading this, I'm gonna give a tl;dr

tl;dr people are boring now and rely too much on trends and being 'nonchalant' and I'm too nervous about it

When I first started high school, I was mesmerized by how many 'cool' people I'd see at school. It pushed me to more open about being alt and queer around other people and it was pretty liberating in comparison to how neurotypical people were in middle school. Now I'm a senior and I feel like it's come full circle.

People are back to being rather shallow and it sort of feels like people are too afraid to do anything because it's cringe worthy or because everyone has to be cool and nonchalant or whatever. So many people at school make their personality whatever is popular on TikTok that week and it's pretty boring. If you aren't on top of whatever is trending this week then you're not cool.

I miss how unique and everyone used to be. I still make friends who are actually cool but it's pretty rare. I'll also admit that I don't really look very alt either because I live in conservative Oklahoma (I'm already a brown person so just with that I get dirty looks a lot in public). If it were up to me, I'd most likely have a vkei getup every day, or something of the sorts. I do have long hair though and I wear a few band tees, and I've been wanting to get my septum pierced for like 5 years now. The most alt I ever look is if I wear a band tee and some makeup that day or a gloomy sweater with jewelry. So, I'm more on the boring side in appearance.

I would love to be friends with more alternative people at my school, but there aren't very many. A lot of people I've talked to in school end up being very boring, which I feel like a bully for saying this. But a big problem on my end is that I'm a very shy person around people I don't really know. I'd say that normally I'm very flamboyant and outgoing as a person, but all confidence goes out the window once I'm around new people, alternative or not.

I have no problem with people who aren't alternative, but I do feel like an outcast in a lot of my school settings, or I feel as if I'm lying to people and that they don't truly know how I am as a person. I like this website a lot though because there's a lot of interesting people and like-minded people that I come across on here. I still limit myself though because at heart I am still shy and feel very awkward asking "Do you want to be friends? I think you're pretty cool!"

Just overall I'm very nervous and self-conscious about the way that other people see me. So, this has been sort of a rant/vent on the internet. I like meeting new people, and I like being friends with them, but I'm way too shy. Currently I know some people who I want to ask "Wanna be friends?" but I don't want to look like a dork or anything.

Thank you if you read through all of this, comment down below your favorite band.