that title is the only way i can describe this ramble.. (or the only one i can think of)

i've been weirdly aware of the temperatures around me recently. my sleep hasn't been the greatest because i am always either too hot, or too cold, and it's annoying.

i've started going on walks at the dead of night --- when the air is coldest (especially during winter. i live in the northern (hottest) half of australia though, so even our cold nights are considered warm to the southern states, LOL), and the outdoor population is lowest. i'm not someone who can withstand colder temperatures. i used to be able to hold my own against negative degrees, but i've lost that ability ever since i moved to this country...

the night air isn't bad though, i find myself liking it, even when i'm only wearing a simple sleep shirt and shorts. the cold air makes my nightly endeavors thrilling in a somehow calming way. the outside world in it's more silent state is a lot less constricting than my bedroom, or simply going outside when it's daytime. i like open places when i'm alone in them, which probably isn't good for my social or mental health.

i've also started enjoying hot showers. i'm sure some people would find this gross, but i like to sit on the floor of my shower and close my eyes, letting the warm water rain over me. the area is smaller than my room, and should be more constricting, but i find that comforting for some reason.

hygiene is something i've struggled with, due to depression, but now it's become something i look forward to. it seems to have replaced a few of my more self-destructive habits, which, i suppose, is good, it's just kind of weird to think about.

i can't stay in the bathroom forever though, as the water bill wouldn't be very fond of that... so i've tried to mimic the sensation by burying myself in my blankets and playing rain sounds through my headphones. it doesn't really live up to an actual shower, but it's good enough. 

i've been feeling similar towards sound volume too, except everything is just too loud, all of the time, instead of either too loud, or too quiet. even the lowest volume that my headphones can go has been too loud at times. i'd like to listen to music while doing mundane tasks, but it just ends up overwhelming me.

i don't feel this way towards the showers though. i'm okay with the loud volume of a bunch of water droplets falling against the ground, but i get annoyed whenever outside noises manage to penetrate the shower barrier.