Report Blog Entry
As Neil's father awaits him after his performance, you see the curtains close behind Neil as they finish playing A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare. The curtain slightly swings open before closing again, a sign it isn't over yet and something else awaits him. His father calls for him, telling a worker he needs to see his son. As said messenger approaches Neil and tells him his father needs him, the girl sitting behind him in her elegant flower crown glances at him like she can see every emotion carved into his skin. But she looks away as the actors receive compliments for their work, she smiles and doesn't look again, distracted by something that is her own business.
Robin Williams once said: "Remember, su*cide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Even though he was right, he died in 2014, age 63. And then you think about Heath Ledger, his beautiful smile and his smart words, he died 2008, age 28. What do these two have in common? Depression can be easily hidden, yet there are always cracks in the vase but nobody notices because they're too distracted by what the vase had to offer. Even the sweetest laugh can cover the tears that stained their cheeks.
Before Neil's father awaited him and only watched as he spoke his ending speech in the play, it obviously struck something within his father. When Neil said; "Else the Puck a liar call," you see his father looking back up at the stage as he spoke, his face changing like his heart is beating quicker. Neil was acting as another character, he felt even braver to speak up and before then he already told his father he wanted to stay in the play and make sure of it.
Gabriel Byrne playing as the horse in The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The horse, said to the question the boy asked: "Whats the bravest thing you ever said?", The horse answered with: "Help" "Asking for help isn't giving up, It's refusing to give up".
Neil called for help to Mr.Keating, it was brave and all could've been right, when he saw his father's expression he thought by the unfurrowed brows that his father saw what he himself did. His pride and quickened heart made his shoulders untighten as he finished the play with a soft smile on his face, he sighs in delight as the curtains close and the entire crowd cheers for him. And as his father calls for him, he's nervous. But in most stories; it would be the time where the father apologizes, hugs his son and tells him how proud he is and how talented his son is. But instead, his father seemed to want to keep his pride, unknowingly realizing how he is afraid and doesn't want to worry about money and where his son ends up. We know he cares about his son, but fear can be stronger.
And as Neil is taken away from his friends and the crowds of compliments, he realizes he was beaten at his highest and his proudest, beaten at his point of no return and thinking it was a success. 17 years and he could never try the act, till someone of a father figure told him he could and then his real father who he thought he could be less afraid of after his performance, dragged him away from the thing he always wanted to try. To act.
What is more common then others might think, is putting on an act lets you forget the real world infront of you, to act is to be someone else. In someone else's shoes. And Neil was in a much more brave kind till he took his wreath crown off his brunette head. The time alone he gets to put it back on, he opens the window and feels the breeze of nature calling him back to the soil, he walks to his dad's study, out of pure memory he probably remembered where his father's g*n was sitting in his desk. His expression purely blank, he has no friends to smile along with, to laugh along with, nobody to let out some of his frustrations, he is purely alone with his thoughts and where he wants to be. He has no father to make his voice crack from unexpectancy, no one to make his eyebrows lower and his eyes dart around the room waiting for something, watching his father's hand movements yet wanting to keep eye contact with his unexpectant dark gaze but afraid to look into said gaze. He doesn't know whether to call himself dramatic and deal with 10 more years of school for a profession he doesn't want or to go where he wants to be in someone else's way of life. He reminds himself of how he tried to tell his father how he felt, feeling a sense of the dramatic he portrayed so well minutes ago, but his gaze stopped him as he thought to himself it'll only make it worse, his gripped hands flashing through his mind and his loud voice making him realize he's only Neil Perry.
His father only stared as he submitted to his fate, not realizing that a boy of 17, still a minor, probably can only figure out one way to get out of this and it's by the weapon hidden in his desk wrapped in a pure white cloth. His father, with too much pride and fear to let himself back down as he sees his boy's eyes not even look at him anymore, only despair left in those eyes that glistened so much before. His mother, trying to be what she is, but knows she can't do anything as she stays behind him, her touch doing ever so little as he sits in that chair, thinking about his acting and how proud he felt from it all, that electricity he'll never feel again he thinks. He doesn't even know his mother is crying herself to sleep knowing he didn't even look at her one last time and she couldn't do anything about it. His mother, not even knowing that before they went to bed, he caressed her pyjama over the breast pocket where her heart was, a mother's love is important, but Neil could find no way to reach out anymore.
Neil leaves his wreath crown on the windowsill, either not wanting to be reminded of it as he ends his last, or leaving it as he awaits a new one when he joins the fairy sprites once again in a place where he always wanted to be.
Neil's fathers steps are hesitant, not wanting to see if it was a mistake or an act he'll never forgive himself for. His scream is put in slow motion, time feeling slow, like he had that much time to undo what he said but now it was too late, he feels the way it's going to slow that he can't reach his son soon enough. Then it goes back to normal speed as he holds his son, cradling him which is hidden by the desk as the camera stands outside the slightly opened door, Neil's spririt watches as he waits to see their reaction just before he leaves again. It's not what he thought it would be as he goes to Welton to see his friends one last time, he sees Todd's disbelief as the boys stand there explaining to him. Neil stares in disbelief as his spirit leaves to the forest where he knows is the only place he can accept. And even so deep now in the forest, he hears Todd screaming his name as he runs down the slippery snow covered hill to the docks by the frozen lake. Todd knows he wouldn't be the same without Neil and as he watches the snow dusting his eyelashes and blurrying his vision, along with the tears. All he can think, is Neil's spirit dancing with Fae's and other merry folk that'll recite poetry just like he did.
Mr. Keating hesitantly walks away from the importance of his desk and sits in Neil's old throne yet simple desk chair in the classroom, reading the book that had been staying in his desk; "five centuries of verse", It was on top of his important school books, but to the artist, the loser, it was everything. And as he reads the inky words on the opening page, he cries as he knows Neil is now in the woods, dying deliberately.
Even when Neil was dead, somehow his father still found it hard to believe it was his fault, that it was Keating who drived Neil to insanity and not his father who drove him away constantly from the life he wanted to live.
And as much as most dislike Cameron, we have to accept the fact he was just as afraid as everyone else was and would rather be accepted and seen as educated by his parents rather than apart of The Dead Poets Society. In the beginning, he obviously was born with his foot in his mouth around his friends, he was more confident before Keating but I suppose keeping secrets is never easy for him and he knows he'd be a disgrace to his parents if he didn't do the right thing. As you watch this movie more, you realize he did do what was right for his own education, but he sacrificed someone else's job for it. He wasn't there to tell Todd, Neil was dead. Just think about how he would be sitting there in his room, realizing everything. He's not stupid and you know it, he knew they were after Keating in the first place. Cameron probably has his own personal problems and unidentified mental stuff that he found it hard to not conform to what society wants him to be, and being daring is just not on his list of things he wants to achieve.
And Charlie Dalton, showed arrogance, bravery and sometimes stupidity and choices. He could've been like Cameron, but he ended up having too much hope about everything. We know he isn't one to be poetic without sarcasm, but we know deep down he tried to be optimistic in his head, it just always comes across as arrogant out of his mouth. But just like every other dead poets society member, he was afraid, deeply, afraid.
Todd, as much as he wishes he could speak out, like Neil, he gets cut off before he can really do something. (Plus, I think Todd has a language disability).
But as the end showed, it might've been too late but they certainly made an impact as they stood upon their desks and looked, not conformed in their seat, but looked from atop their desk, reminding themselves to constantly look at things in a different way.
And to finish this blog post that is already so long, I understand if you don't like this movie. I understand if you gave it 3.5 stars on Letterboxd or even less than that, but the reason why people love Dead Poets Society so much, is because of how Keating changed their lives through the screen also. I love this movie, because I didn't know what I wanted to be, how to express myself and who I was, but after this movie I was changed. I understand conformity, I understand empathy, I understand that poetry is something I've always loved and that who I am is because of this movie. You can give this movie the lowest rating and call it overrated, but you cannot ignore the lives that were changed.
My letterboxd acc: Evangellzzz
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )