vent! :v

Today is the 5th day you dont answer my texts, im starting to get worried. Everytime you dont answer for long I start to think if something happened to you, i feel better in my heart and I get a message from you. 

5 days ago, we talked for about an hour and a half, you started telling me that you dont answer because of your lack of energy, that if it wasnt for me you couldn't have made it to 13, it made me happy and at the same time sad, it means I actually have a purpose, im worth of something. But I dont want him to feel this way. you said you would start texting me everyday, somehow I belived in your words.

I dont know what I was expecting, the longest you didint answer my texts in a while was in 3 days. now its 5. 

I know i feel like im making a really big deal out of this, I just wanted to write it down.

why does everytime I dream, its about you, youre always there. like I cant ignore you. I need you, i cant possibly explain how much I miss you, every song I hear reminds me of you, everywhere I go I cant help but find you in everything. I hate not feeling like youre around me anymore, I wish I coud hug you again. hopefully youre not dead, like your own words said, you started to have suicidal thoughts again.

I feel so lonely i guess im okay, I started to find comfort in the warmth of my own skin. 

Lately ive been feeling like nothing can make me feel bad anymore, surprisingly my parents didnt fight today, but they fought for 6 days in a row, now that I think of it they have never been like this, of course theyve had their bad days but not this much tbh. My mom said the next time we get a loan of money we will finally be getting out of this place, because this is not what you call a proper family, she said. 

i'd be more than happy to move out, I fucking hate this house, and I hate my dad even more. 

(srry if I made any mistakes on the writting, ik nobody will Read this anyway lolz)