can't adapt

i've been working full time for a while now, and man is it killing me. i think i'm just naturally a night owl or something because even when i try to get to sleep at like 10 or 11 i can't actually fall asleep for a few hours, and i feel so drained during the day...

idk i've tried everything like more water, reducing blue light, trying to read or something to ease my brain into sleep, even tried some melatonin but nothing works. 

i remember reading a story once about this kid called randy gardner who did an experiment to stay awake as long as possible, and he ended up staying awake for like 11 days or something. anyway, he got insomnia later down the line, and i've been wondering for a little while whether i've inadvertently done the same thing to myself.

i never stayed up for 11 days, but i used to do like 36 or 48 hours kind of regularly when i was a teenager. maybe i ruined my sleep cycle or something man. 

anyway, i been thinking of dropping full-time anyway. i kind of want to go to university and study something, and i feel like i'm wasting my time working all day when everyone else my age is either studying or finding their place in life...