The day i will be seen as a person

Recently i been starting to get overwhelmed by the idea that none will look at me as a person, but nothing more as a Band-Aid just to use me to forgot about their exes and in the end ppl just forget about me 

atp im really thinking if i should just look for an online relationship but i think its obvious its just gonna be the same thing as irl 

i mean i have friends so why should i care about not having a boyfriend??? idk anymore i ask myself that but it doesn't matter if i have friends i still feel something missing 

or maybe love isn't really for me or im just destined to be used as a fucking tool for ppl to just throw away and then vent when they want like bitch then why would you just give attention to me if you're gonna do that shit later

Im getting tired of hearing the same comment from almost all ppl "you gotta love yourself to love someone" or "It's just waiting for the one"

Like HOW MUCH DO I GOTTA WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME AS A FUCKING PERSON AND NOT A TOOL IM SO TIRED I ALR CHANGED THE WAY I TALK,DRESS,PERSONALITY ALMOST EVERYTHIING AND YET NONE BATS AN EYE TO MEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and i bet if i even became obsessed with myself still none would even declare their love to me 

and im starting to feel jealous of my taken friends like its not fair why are they happy with a bf while im just here rotting like a fucking fruit 

but i then feel guilty of thinking about it because they don't have the fault my love life sucks and all dat shit LMAOAOAOAO

i really want a bf just to spend time,draw together or at least comfort eachother but why do i always gotta end up meeting the most hypocrite persons ever

god and i hate that each time i seen someone that i get interested and start ganing courage to talk to them to maybe see IN A FUTURE date i end up finding out they are taken LIKE AAAAAAA THATS SO EMBARRSING OF ME I DONT WANNA BE LIKE THAT IM NOT A CHEATER IM NOT THAT IFUCKIINBGHateALLTHISSSS WHY NONE OF YOU JUST LOOK AT ME AS A PERSON LIKE VRO IM SO TIRED OF MY attempts just because i never feel complete like Azael onggggg QWHY CANT U KMSSSSSS 

no becuz.. idk i just keep holding onto the idea i will someday feel loved and be with someone so maybe thats why i don't even end myself lmaoaoaoao so fucking pathetic 

IMIOGHT JUST DELETE THIS BLOG i needed to vent so baddd

but yeah i really wished someone at least loved me for what i am and not just to use me in the end lololoolool

immago and flood my mind with yumeshipping cuz thats the only way i have to cope about this dumb situation god why did i had to end up like diz

ANYWAYS BYEBYEYEYEYEYEYE