Life sucks!!!

This is kinda a vent but I hate being the way I am. I’m someone who is generally shy to the point where it makes my life hell sometimes. I used to be friends with this guy from like freshman year to sophomore. But I lowkey fumbled so hard with him. Now tell me if I was maybe just being delusional but he used to always talk to me and try to get me to laugh. We had an art class together and he would sit by me and ask how his art looked. He kinda got me out of my shell and I definitely talked to him a lot. There was a time where he was like asking me if I thought certain people were attractive, and then he like pointed to himself and my stupid ass said no. I don’t know why I did it. To this day I regret it. But we still continued to talk after that but when it got to junior year we had no classes together. I would see him in the hallways and he would say hi and I would say it back but then I just kinda ignored him, another stupid decision. But he has a girlfriend and today I like saw him again and it’s like I can’t get over him. I try to like I don’t know crush on someone else but he is always in my mind. Umm… no one will probably read all of this but I just needed to get that off my chest. Life sucks…