this is not a game, it never was; & i am not an achievement.

I will never understand what it is with this whole competitive mentality guys get once they realize a girl that they have a "crush" on is about to potentially be scooped up by someone else. It's wild.

They'll go from ignoring you & blatantly making you feel like an afterthought for so long, while they think they have you on a hook (but in reality they're losing you through lack of effort on their own accord.) -to all of a sudden seeming interested out of nowhere as soon as they get a whiff of competition. Like they don't wanna lose somebody from their harem of women they've accumulated.

You see. I've dealt with many guys over the years, 99% of them never even make it to first base. Not even super cute ones. Why is that? I'm too good at recognizing patterns & I trust my gut. One would assume after so long, I'm wiser to all of the behaviors of people who seem like they only care about using me for their own benefit. 

I'm not gonna be wordy & get into all the specific behavioral patterns, but you likely already have an idea of all of the stupid mind games & tricks dudes try using. Knowing all of this is how you spot someone who is a player; you're able to prove that you are just one of many.

Sure some of them may had gotten nudes at some point over the years, but it's not & will never be the real thing. So it doesn't faze me honestly. 

Here's my point: I've been dealing with the same fucking guy for the last 15 years, just a different face, age & height each time I meet him. So as you could imagine, after dealing with one after another for so many consecutive years, it's getting old. I know what I deserve & so does he usually, whoever that person was. 

I'm just tired of feeling like some prize to people in a really elaborate & emotionally damaging game; but it's even worse once "𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒".

The blunt truth is that if you really want a chance with me, you have to at least stay consistent in acting interested in me, then maybe you would be able to hold my attention.

All of these people who have come out of the woodworks suddenly- (after they read my last IG post, I'm sure.) -they're all so afraid of "someone taking their spot" however, they had already given up their spot, on their own, before anyone else had even come along.