#09 stilltide

summer feels like it’s both flying by and dragging on.

i’ve been on vacation from school for a while now, but it hasn’t really been “rest.” first, there was maths camp, which was fun in its own way, but also exhausting. i barely had time to catch my breath before musical camp started the next day. looking back, i probably should’ve given myself more space between the two, because by the end of it all, i was worn out. musical camp itself had its good moments, but it also left me feeling a bit disappointed. maybe it was just too much all at once.

the bigger picture, though, is that i’ve finished “middle school”, or what’s basically secondary school here in the netherlands, and in september, i’m starting at hbo (which is like higher professional education). i’ll be studying at the pabo, which is the teacher training program for primary education. it means four years of learning to become a teacher for kids aged 4 to 12.

honestly, i’m nervous about it. the idea of going into a new environment, meeting new people, and having to make friends all over again feels intimidating. it’s not just the studying; it’s the social part that makes my chest tighten a little. school always feels a bit scary for me, even if i know it’s just another step forward.

but there’s one thing that’s making the months ahead a little brighter: christmas in sweden. i’ll be spending it with my best friend and her family, and it already feels like something warm to hold onto. i love them so much, and the thought of being there, surrounded by that comfort and familiarity, makes me feel a little calmer about everything else.

so right now, i guess it’s about getting through these last weeks of summer, holding on to the good moments, and reminding myself that there’s something wonderful waiting at the end of the year.