I was in the true crime community

Yeah so. Im not sure where i went wrong in life. I was always interested in true crime, just maybe a little bit more than the average person.

I dont know where to start but i was obsessed with columbine and the scream killers. I had crushes on these murders and shooters. Last year, 2024, around this time i found out that there was a community who actually adored this people. At first i thought it was cool, but i told myself i wasnt going to be crazy about these people right, i mean thats just weird.

I watched this 5 hour long columbine ice burg or some kind of documentary and i immediately "fell in love" with the shooters.

Time went on and everything escalated. It got to a point where my mind was always in the tcc and tcc tumblr. I had an account where i posted all things related to columbine or anything true crime related. I made edits and stuff. Embarrassing this is to admit this but i made c.ai bots of these people and i was probably one of the most popular bot maker (true crime related). I gained a lot of followers on that account.

I didnt condone anything these people did nor disrespect the victims of shooting/murders. I do feel horrible for the victims. There was a girl in the columbine shooting named Rachel and i especially grew " closer " to her because of how kind hearted she was. Poor girl.

Anyway. I dont know what to get from this post, I dont expect anyone to read the whole thing but i really just want to get over what i did. I always had this ongoing and leaving guilt that followed me whenever i was on tumblr, liking these posts of true crime. Its been 3 months since i left the community but part of me still wants to go back. I wont ever go back dispite making a joke about "I'll go back to the tcc if the basement tapes get released" but no. I really wont. I still see TikToks in my fyp thatll come up once in a while about people in the community, i scroll past them but my heart does drop a little. Yeah so. Thats that. Im still on the journey to completely leaving the community.