she came back

today is my mother's birthday and later (I wanna say somewhere at 4 pm..) someone decided to visit. I heard our kitchen door open and my mom sounded surprised. I mean, it could have been ANYONE else that close to her. I was in my room, rotting away in bed. (Yes, yes, I know, that's still bad but my head isn't exactly in the right place still. Been getting memories of the past and I should just continue looking forward positively!!! If my thoughts will allow me to.) Anyhow, I had my volume lowered since I wasn't really listening to music and just an old YouTube video from Kubz scouts (WOOOOOOOOOOO KUBZ SCOUTS MENTIONED ^_^) and I happened to hear the visitor's voice. It sounded familiar. And then I heard my mom say something like, "Ella está en su cuarto con su pinche teléfono."

I decided that I should probably try to make a good impression on whoever was visiting her. I hated it whenever my mom talked badly about me and my brother in general. But what can I do abt it? I'm just glad that she only knows abt me on the outside and not the inside. Yeah, so, anyway, I entered the kitchen and was surprised to see my aunt (who I haven't seen since the sixth grade in the summer due to her and my mother getting into some sort of drama and my mom just completely stopped contacting her.)

I stood there and was sort of... mesmerizing my aunt? How do I explain... It's only been 2 or 3 years since I last saw it and she looks the same ofc with her hair and style. I just couldn't believe that after a while she would be back. After all, that is what I wanted. One of my wishes. AND IT CAME TRUE.... However, there are others in my life that I want back. Such as my cousin G, she was a good one. She felt like my sister, but she is a different story as of now. My aunt was talking with my mom and my brother came into the kitchen as well to greet her. I stood there and just cried. I missed her so much. I was too focused on the memories and how hard it was for me to just normalize the fact that I might not be able to see her again. Yes, there were times I wanted to visit but I didn't want to risk getting more drama into my family. Besides, I was afraid of her being upset to see me. 

Well... like I said... I cried. My brother would walk past me and jokingly poke my face and he ended up feeling my tears. He then asked, "Are you okay?" And all I said was, "No." I smiled when saying so because I was happy!!!! But also sad at the same time. My aunt noticed me as well and I just straight up hugged her and telling her I missed her and that it's been a while. We later talked and sort of caught up on what's new and how we have been. Today was great. My aunt's coming back is what I've ever wanted.

Now, I'm looking forward to what's going to happen this Saturday. My aunt, brother, and mom made a plan to head out somewhere in town to eat. I miss whenever we did that back then. 

I hope G comes back. Someday. Bring her back to me.