lesbian is not a dangerous word, use it

lesbian is not a dangerous word, use it 

I am sick and tired of how the word lesbian and the label as a whole is treated in the queer community. There are so many rules about who can be a lesbian and who can't be a lesbian. I've seen people needing to justify their own sexuality, proving that they are “lesbian enough” to get to use their own label. 

Anyone can call themselves queer or bi or trans or gay and no one cares. But as soon as someone calls themself a lesbian and they don't conform to the exact standards of what a lesbian is "supposed" to be, everyone is pissing and screaming about it. 

"BUT BUT BUT what about women's spaces!!! we need to shield the weak women who can't protect themselves from these horrible people who are invading the lesbian community ...by sharing their experiences and finding comfort in finding people who relate."

It's so infuriating to see people argue in "defense" of lesbians when it's obvious they couldn't give less of a shit about us. 

History lesson: up until the 1970s the following could and were all categorized as lesbians:

• women who date women

• heterosexual trans men who date trans/cis women 

• trans women who date trans/cis women

• ace women

• butch women

• bi/pan women

• nonbinary people who date other nonbinary people

• drag queens that date other drag queens

• being queer and not a cis man in any way

Since then a lot of new labels have emerged and that is great but it also means that the use of the labels have gotten more limited. Lesbian have been put on a pedestal by the queer community like it's a badge of honor to be A Lesbian™ instead of being seen as an important but still imperfect part of the community. While labels like gay have gotten more popular and are used by all queer people, the use of lesbian has been reduced in favor of labels like sapphic or WLW. 

And I think that's a shame lesbian is a beautiful word, and it makes me so sad to hear lesbians talk about how they don't want to use it because it sounds extreme or crude. Some lesbians assume they aren't “lesbian" enough because of their gender or past relationships or because they don’t like the connotations or rules they feel is attached to that label.

But the only reason that gay and queer and fag are becoming labels to be proud of because people use them.

So use it.