DO YOU REMEMBER THE MONSTERS?

that cursed year, where shit shattered so unbelievably hard for me that it still weighs on my wellbeing

because i was a regular kid, loved by a mother who, in all reality, i saved from death.
even though dad wasn't in the picture, i had a good life, with family that loved me (and spoiled me rotten) and i had everything i ever wanted

but, sins of the father, right? and i still loved him, despite him never being there
his periodic words of affirmation to me like a crumb trail to appreciation for someone who thought opiates were more important than his son

and then came the day, where he died. an unexpected call from grandma, led to me sitting at the dining table, just reflecting on what i had just been told

was this real? was i dreaming? will he make it?
and then he didnt
he died

and i was left with me, my thoughts, unsure what to make of them

and, for the monster he was, he was a monster i loved, and now hes gone
and my only purpose, to do good, and win him back, i guess, is null and void