Envy

08.08.2025

I came back from my University City to move in, now I'm back in my own city. I met all my friends back and I experienced a lot of different emotions coming back, I don't want to talk about it now.

I've been going to the gym for 3 months now, and I look the best in comparison to before, but I experience envy with all the people I know. It's like feeling guilty and sad at the same time and I can't control it. It's very discouraging and I feel like I'm not good enough and give up. But I can't leave now, I need to be like them. I need to surpass them. I can't talk to anyone about this, and generally can't talk about a lot of stuff. It always turns out that I'm comparing with my own friends that I love. Doesn't help.

I wish the envy turns into motivation when I come back to my University City, I can't turn back now I need to feel good.