an empty world

 No one came to my club event today. Even though I sent out an email, discord announcement, and an instagram post with tbh my best design so far. Ah well.. &nd the one yesterday only had 1 person show. I know everyone has their life and there's so many complications but man shit's demoralising.... i am NOT gonna stay up till 4am again revising my course for nobody. blah. im putting on things ppl said they wanted at the times they said work best. 

got crunkled last night but we got too drunk too quick and couldnt go to the gig . and also i had to finish my maths assignment lmao. we did end up heading in but by then it was like 2am (the event was 8pm till Midnight) and let me tell you the streets are silent. one bar was open with about 12 people in it doing shit all. 
I'm not hungover but I feel so listless. Gah. It's like when you drink you're stealing the joy from the next day.

Just outright not gonna do esperanto club this week because it'll just be us two execs there. So many sign ups and excited faces that I know I'll never see again. le sigh. I need to start attending my classes like it's a Problem. i wasnt like this until ~4 months ago. what happened man.

it's gonna feel soo good when i finish one of my passion projects. but i know i never will. whenever things start taking shape i lose interest entirely. idk. maybe something will happen tonight. maybe i will have a conversation. you live in the heart of a big city and it just makes you more lonely cuz nobody seems real.

everything will feel less bland after i have a nap. .  oops i dont want my account here to just become a ventposting type thing,, talking about Fun and Cool stuff soon.  hope ur moment is going how u want it.