05082025 { of love;

curious eyes observe {

   recently i saw:

      -- a mother trying to feed her child despite them not cooperating, 

      -- an old man with stiff knees walk his grandchildren to the school, hand-in-hand,

      -- a father carrying his children in the unbearable heat,

      -- sisters taking turns with their brothers on the swing,

      -- me, sleep deprived, talking to my family on the phone past midnight/

}

something of a realisation+

this might be a long-held debate. a matter of different perspectives, i believe. there's so many ways to define it after all. but i think i have found my answer? maybe? 

what love means to me: an inconvenience. 

loving someone means tolerating inconveniences. and being loved is to be an inconvenience. asking strangers for help is being a burden, asking friends is relying.  i'll try to do that more, rely on them. i usually avoid it as much as i can because i don't think i deserve their efforts. maybe that deprives me of their love.