idk vent

I cried myself to sleep last night because I couldn’t believe he was leaving. I still can’t. He’s so perfect and I’m going to miss it so much. 

Aside from that, I finally got my phone back!!! I got my grades up and whatnot so ig im all good now !!!

if I’m being completely honest, my boyfriend is the love of my life and I never want to lose it. he’s just so perfect and shdjfhdbdjdhfhdhdhdh!!! he’s so pretty too. I think I’m an embarresment to it though… he kind of gets annoyed when I call it pretty or say I love you when me and all my friend are on zoom together… I don’t want to stop doing that but I don’t want to annoy it. I’m kind of annoying to be honest. Okay, not kind of. But it does kind of hurt when people tell me I’m annoying because I’m just trying to be myself. And if I act upset, people will keep asking if I’m mad at them and then get mad at me because of that. So i don’t know what to do. 

over time, I’ve changed. I don’t let my guard down anymore and I’m really mean. Everyone is fed up with me and I want to change. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I used to be really happy all the time, I was told I was annoying. But when I’m annoyed all the time, I’m told I’m mean. I don’t even know what to do.

anyways