ugly venting dont read if underage

i dont wanna be anyones unpaid domestic  labor source or btch and i am ignorant on purpose about relationships thinking i protect myself before they cheat on me or abuse me  . i dont belive it is gonna be different  in any other time . i think it made me worse . i just wanted to have fun and leave bcuz i knew thats how they saw me. anyways... i move on to someone else ,sometimes dont talk to ppl for months . never had a person trying to suck me up like a leech until this btch  and it was so hypocritical...

i was ghosted for a while and it fucked me up but i thought i had no right to whine about it.of course all this time he is  moving on to others which i knew  and too many friends  i really know which  i didnt know back then.

this very  same person came and slutshamed me in front of the school , resurrected back from death like a zombie when he heard about me and someone else .he himself never told me he liked me or wanted to be girlfriend and boyfriend.he also radiated infatigable sl-t energy and got bored and moved on from me BEFORE me and somehow i was supposed to stay loyal to him. he slurred me and shit obsessing over the fact that he was friends with the guy.

bad part is i became friends again , and after i make up i started hearing from my other friends-on the same guy- "he flirted with me >< uWu" "he did me tehee ^^"   and i was like OK cool ? i kind of felt sickly about the hypocrisy.

he then went abroad and didnt tell me when , didnt call me from there.and first thing he did when we met again was asking me to fck,which i refused and then gloating about the s-- and dr--s he did there in the bars and i told to his face that  he disgusted me.not bcz these activities but bcuz thinking he owned me without looking at himself. after whining a little i just stopped him and said , i just think no way i cant be any more slut than you , then he , himself accepted it with no shame.he defended himself "but i didnt get with girls in berlin it was boys , this morning there was a gir-" and i am so disgusted because he normalized him outta nowhere   having a pass to try everyones s-- left and right soooo casually ,saying them to my face gloating ,  and then coming to my arms at night for emotianal kisses but me liking someone is strickly forbidden. what am i a toy?

he couldnt reply to me to my face properly he went back to his dorm room and called me slurs on whatsapp+blocked me before i reply  becuz he a dirty sewer rat .he also brought up food he bought for me becuz i wanted the oil pastels he, HIMSELF told me he would pay for later because paint is so expensive here,and i had to buy them because he forgot his wallet and phone , entirely his own dumbness and i am a broke student too. the fact that he bought me food wont make me pull magical money up my ass . if he wasnt a giant turd id still be friends and would be gifting him more than he gifted me.

one day his srry ass came and said i dont remember the  slrrs i told you wish i could ... i always liked you but  you f---- my friend-i am a victimmm- and  he was being "ironic" with those girls and tried to convince me by name dropping and calling them worthless etc.i told him that he is fuckin my head up for nothing rn cuz i wont get along with him anymore.