E//Blast: Cherry Melt & H.T.’s Fall from Grace

Apologies again for the recent silence, darlings. I was busy peeling my jaw off the floor. But now that I’m back, let’s catch up on the mess you missed…

After disappearing without a trace, Cherry Ice, former Upper East Side staple, has officially been spotted in—wait for it—Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yes, that Scranton. The one with paper companies, parking lots, and a nightlife that ends at 8PM. A source caught her at a Sheetz parking lot in a fur-trimmed coat asking if Wawa was “a new club.” Humbling, isn’t it?

No one knows why she’s there. Witness protection? Method acting? A fall from grace wrapped in tinsel and regret? All I know is… Cherry melted faster than her last statement necklace under UV light.

Now let’s talk H.T.
Remember when she stayed silent? Yeah, not anymore.

She spoke—loudly, publicly, and unhinged—during a very impromptu livestream from a luxury sprinter van parked outside a Hammam in Tribeca.

Here’s what she said, and yes, these are real quotes:

“I’m not apologizing for telling the truth. Y’all just don’t like the truth.”
“I’ve been hated since preschool. That’s not new to me.”
“Let’s not pretend everyone in that friend group wasn’t doing the exact same thing. I was just the only one who got caught.”

…The comments were off within 30 seconds.

So what did she say exactly? Something about stolen credit cards, a missing vape ring, a dog that may or may not be microchipped, and a conspiracy to rig junior prom. The details are murky—just like her lashes during that stream.

In the words of a witness:

“She sounded like someone reading courtroom transcripts off a bottle of NyQuil.”

And just like that, the Ice melted and the Heat turned toxic.

Stay alert. Stay hydrated. And if you see Cherry Ice ordering a hoagie in platform heels—be kind. Or at least pretend to be. After all…

Scandal this good doesn’t stay in Scranton.

xoxo, Gossip Girl