diary

08/03/25 - 2:00

08/09/25

Trying to actively use this now. Updates on everything I guess. Nothing much is happening in my life, but my dad got food stamps today which was really nice. I got new ice cream and I ate a raw potato! Very cool. I've been really sad today for like no reason, cried a little bit for the first time in a while. Some days I wish that I wasn't me, I wish that I was somebody else. Not in a transway, I'm already trans and I'm happy with that. I don't wish I was born a boy, I like being trans a lot. More in a I wish I wasn't here. I wish I was some teenager in 2009. I know that I would be probably killed and beat if I lived in that time. But a Boy Can Dream. Sometimes I wish I hadn't been born, not an edgy way, I'm not edgy. I'm not hard, I'm soft. I'm the softest person you'll meet. But I'm all bite no bark, I lash out without warning and that's my problem. I don't want to go back to school, I don't want to talk to new people and I don't want to learn. I want to stay home and get so mad at myself that I kill myself. Like I do every year, all the time, always. My best friend started school yesterday, and now they're doing online school. They haven't messaged me all day and I'm kind of sad about that, I wish they talked to me more.. even though we talk everyday all the time. I'm just being stupid, I'm not upset because of them though. I'm never upset with them, I choose her over 100 girls. If we were in a room with people, I would choose lottie. It wouldn't matter if Pete Wentz was there, I would choose lottie. Every single time. I'm not in love with her, I'm not like that. But she is my best friend and she means a lot to me. Two more weeks until school starts, my foot is in the door. You know what they do to Guys Like Us in school, I'd be better off dead.

01/16/26

update she fucking left me a wile ago LMAO. i have a new bbf tho. annabella :3 im in love with her i think.