Rant about me!

Guys I'm realizing that I'm not gonna survive as an adult👁️👄👁️ 

I'm 15 and recently started thinking about what I'm gonna do with my life since number one I'm mentally challenged because of trauma, which yes who doesn't these days but still I have nightmares, panic attacks, shaking, random dark thoughts. All of these make life very difficult even now as a kid, along with a STACK of other problems that I'll list skip if you want. 

1: a bone in my back grew wrong and it physically hurts to move but I'm used to it. 

2: I have ADD and ADHD so its hard to learn and focus. 

3: VERY bad social anxiety. 

4: mommy and daddy issues, family issues in general. 

5: in my family's words "I'm a liberal" doesn't affect me at all I just have normal human empathy. 

6: extremely low blood sugar. 

7: hard to eat. 

8: overbearing family even though they forgot the whole raising me and teaching me math and social skills part. 

9: abandonment issues. 

10: yelling makes me instantly panic. 

11: I hear screaming randomly to the point that it could be dead silent and I'll hear screaming like from my family. 

12: my family made me stop talking to all my friends including my best friend so all the people who felt like a real family are gone so I now feel a eating guilt all day. 

And I'm probably still missing a few but anyways I realized I have three options for my life. One, I work at a minimum wage job and make enough to survive but ultimately want to die because life would be dull and sad. Two, prostitution. And three, work so hard I want to die (again) and spend my life worrying about a husband that hates me and spoiled kids that wouldn't realize I never came back. I'm sorry but this is bullshit HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE. I mean I have nothing left. No friends. no family. no home. no cat. 

THEY TOOK EVERYTHING OF COURSE I'M MAD AND THEY STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ME HELP IDGAF ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. THEY DIDN'T CHANGE THEY GOT WORSE AND I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS THEY WOULDN'T HEAR THE FIGHTS AND SCREAMS. 

I haven't slept in day I apologize. But honestly I'd do anything to see my friends again they were all I had left. I wish I could hold my cat again I didn't deserve him I miss his hugs. I wish I could say that I'm sorry and I wish I could tell them what happened to me. I'm really tired of the screaming. I'm just really really tired. Thanks for listening to me, I needed this. 

And sorry that this is cryptic in a way about my circumstances I gotta be careful just in case.