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I feel more than what i have lived. The constant state of remorse that is twisting my insides all because i wanna live, the longing for a drama, maybe even a tragedy. She once told me to be careful on what you wish for, i told her i know what i want, i dont. For someone with nothing at all, anything  can be desired. To live something than existing for a waste... i do not ask for tragedies though. The fear of pain is haunting me. If i wasnt afraid of everything i could be brave enough to live. But im a cage bird who is too weak to survive anywhere out. I feel so weak. Even my body is physically giving up. Maybe it will help me to be free soon, by taking what i never had to begin with, my life.