life of cinth

Hi, I'm Martin. I'm using the translator for this so sorry if my English isn't very good. I will simply share things that will happen to me and thoughts. I have friends (yes, virtual) but I simply want to express myself without those who already know about me knowing what I think. It doesn't bother me to meet people here although I doubt being active.

I've been a little strange lately. On June 9 I had had a suicide attempt that failed and now I'm just trying to get better. My self-esteem is improving and I'm even taking photos, which surprises me. I don't like the way I look but at least I don't feel disgust anymore. I am in conflict now with my gender identity. I revealed to a friend that I'm bisexual and she took it well, luckily. But now with so many expectations in me to be strong, not cry and endure everything without help just for being a man, it makes me wish I wasn't just to express myself and be understood.

I already talked about it with a friend and he gave me a good talk, but I just doubt it. I hate people who tell me that I can't wear certain accessories just because I'm a man, I hate when my mother tells me that I'm not much of a man for painting my nails. But I have to put up with it...

Anyway, I think for now this is what I will write today.

Have a nice day, afternoon or night.