Hurting 8/1/25

9:38am
My body hurts. Down my back, up my hips, just through most of my upper body. I'm not really sure why, unless it's stress pains or something. Last night, I made a mistake and pushed my friend too far, asked too much of them. And while I only wanted to help, I didn't stay calm enough. I owe him an apology. I hope he won't be uncomfortable when talking to me today. Again, I'm moderating my friends twitch stream while he plays Genshin Impact. 

12:21pm

I’m so unbelievably tired, I keep falling back to sleep. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, I just can’t stay awake. I’m not hungry, I’m hurting, I feel sick in general. I hope this passes because I don’t like it. I don’t have much more to speak about as for now. 

5:19

I slept more. Still hurting. My head is also pounding now. I apologized to Havoc again and we spoke. Apparently I didn’t make him uncomfortable. I still have a feeling it affected him negatively. He tells me I should feel on my own accord. I wish he could understand that nothing I do makes me happy anymore. Not truly. The only thing that makes me satisfied anymore is helping others. My friends, more importantly. But if it makes him happy, I’ll at least try. For now. Maybe a shower will help me. I’m hurting.